A place of my own

Everytime I watch the home makeover or house hunting shows I start day dreaming about what I'll do when I (and by 'I' means Shah included) get my own place. I just can't wait to start decorating but I just hope it will all turn out fine. A corner lot house would be the best coz then I'll also get a good sized garden. I really would love an open plan living and dining area. I'll probably keep the living and dining area sleek, chic and not too cluttered but not minimal. I don't think I'll be comfortable in a minimalistic room coz it just makes me feel cold and empty. I like my cushions and throws. The kitchen would have to be modern. Probably with stainless steel cooker/hob, oven and an American fridge. But to fit all that into my kitchen it would have to be a BIG kitchen. If it's a small sized kitchen then the American fridge would have to go..*sigh*. I really want to have a beautiful kitchen with lots of gadgets and gizmos coz I like to cook.

I love the English countryhouse theme but I wouldn't want it to be too floral. Might just leave the floral theme for the boudoir. It has to be romantic too as a bedroom should always be.  I'm toying with the idea of having one of the walls in red or maroon with all the other walls in cream or white. I would love to have a four poster wooden bed with a simple cloth draping down from it but if you don't have a massive room then just forget it. A beautiful brass bed would do too with a beautiful dressing table probably an antique one. As for bathrooms, it would have to have a quality shower probably those with a messager setting at the least. A bath tub would be a plus but if I were to live in Msia that might not be too practical. I like those modern bowl type sinks too.

Ohhh...imagining how I want my house to be is so exciting! Just hope I can make it a reality. But will it just be wishful thinking? I dunno where we'll be able to get a decent place in KL or PJ. 

At the office

I'm at the office and decided to write coz it's been too long. Nothing much has happened since the last time I wrote. On Sunday we had a few friends over for tea. I made roti jala, kari ayam and tiramisu. Monday was busy as ever coz of the Tuesday morning meeting I had with my supervisor. Yesterday I went to visit a friend of mine at the hospital who gave birth on Monday afternoon. She got a baby boy..a cute one in fact with a full head of hair. Even though she had to go thru a cesarean  birth, everything was fine..alhamdulillah. She just has to stay at the hospital for a few more days.
Mornings in the office is quite boring. Well, actually any time spent at the office is rather boring. I'm listening to Capital FM. I used to listen to that particular radio station while I was in London so it kinda stuck with me. If I don't have the radio on then the office will be too boring for me and I might just even fall asleep (like that hasn't happened before). My morning ritual is firstly, check my emails, then looking into the news in Msia and UK, and finally getting some work done. By the time I get to the work bit of the ritual, an hour has usually passed since I arrived at the office.
I've just been reading the Msian papers and there has been another murder. It's very scary to read this kind of news happening in a country that I was born in. Actually, I'm really not too excited to go home to Msia when I read this kind of stories. Msia is getting hit by a giant crime wave. Every day there's always a story of either murder, rape, incest, robbery and much more. When I used to grow up I was always afraid of going out alone but I went out anyway. Nowadays..I must make sure I go out with a big burly guy (Shah of course).

Anyway, got to get started with work now.

Shop-o-holic

We went out to the city centre this morning. Had a few shops to stop by mainly to get stuff like toilettries and groceries. I also had to get something for my officemate who is getting married next friday. It is the summer sale period but I didn't quite resalise which shops were having a sale until today. Mainly because we usually go out only to the shops we need to go to and then come back home but today I decided to stay on and window shop (while my loving hubby Shah went home with the groceries) .

I'm usually one who loves to shop but I only shop when there's a bargain so summer and winter sale periods are the best. Like most women I LOVE buying shoes and handbags. When I was studying in London, I used to shop almost every other week. I'll usually buy a top or a cute bag but it'll always be below £10. Now that I'm much older and wiser, I've been trying to cut back on shopping coz I don't want to turn into a shop-o-holic. 

Finally today, after a couple of hours, I came home empty handed apart from the wedding gift. I couldn't find anything I really needed or had to have. There were some dainty shoes which were to die for but I decided not to buy them coz they were rather impractical..pretty to have on your feet but would leave me with blisters and sore feet at the end of the day. Like I don't have enough of those kind of shoes already! Anyway, I don't have enough space on my shoe rack. Maybe I think I might be winning the battle of not being a shop-o-holic. But then again, you might just see me in the shops hunting for a bargain one day before the sale ends coz shopping is sometimes too irresistable!

The one with the hotels

I didn't think I'd get to write today coz there was this awful thunderstrom earlier this evening which reminded me of the thunderstroms we usually get in Msia. When the thunderstorm strikes back home, my mum would make us stop using the computer and unplug the sockets or else the modem would get struck by the lightning. And thunderstorms also remind me of my grandmother always telling us to switch off and unplug the TV and of course us being children would just ignore her and say 'But the TV won't get struck by lightning coz the aerial is indoors' when infact we were just making up excuses to keep the tele on or else we'll get bored. Those were the good old days...no worries, just fun fun fun.  Anyway, back to present day and luckily the thunderstorm died down about an hour ago and now I can give my thoughts of the day.

Shah and I were surfing the net looking for any good deals for a uk city break. We came across quite a few deals on Expedia to Leeds and Newcastle and were quite enthusiastic to book the hotels from the pics shown in Expedia. However, after consulting Tripadvisor we were let down by the reviews. It turned out that the pics were infact quite deceiving. It would have been OK if the hotels offering the deals were 2-star hotels but I didn't expect 4-star hotels to get reviews, not one review but several bad ones, of untidy rooms and tasteless food. We've been to quite a few hotels and out of all the best ones were Hilton Manchester Airport (stayed there just before going back to Msia for our wedding reception) and The Burlington Hotel, Birmingham (when we went to the motor show). Unfortunately we only stayed 1 night at both the hotels but it was well worth it. The worst must have been the Sultan of Brunei-owned An-Nur Hotel, London. The room was small, the bathroom was badly lit and the bedcover had blood stains. Ewww..everytime I think about it makes me cringe. But it did have a 'Qiblat' sign which was good for us. We paid a hefty £45 for that one night we spent there which come to think of it was almost equal to the price we paid for the Hilton in Manchester but the quality was of great contrast. At that time we haven't come across Tripadvisor. I really think Tripadvisor is worth a look if you're deciding to go to any hotels in the UK but I think they also review hotels from other countries. Shah is thinking of sending a review to Tripadvisor to 'kutuk' An-Nur Hotel and Bayswater Inn (when we stayed here the receptionist was very rude).

Both of us are in real need of a good holiday but we just can't seem to find some place nice, peaceful and has some history to it. We really loved our trip to York. The city was historical and the hotel we stayed in was lovely and cozy. Hope we can find somewhere to go soon or I'll go out of my mind!!

Feeling blue

Today made me kinda blue. Something happened which made me realise how much I need to re-evaluate my priorities. I've been preoccupied with one thing and neglecting something much more important and the effect it gave was almost irreversible. Sometimes I can have a one track mind and this always get me into grave difficulties. From now on, I have to be much more vigilant and make sure I don't repeat it again. I keep saying that and after some time I tend to forget and the same thing happens all over again. This time, however, I have to engrave it in my brain. I must remember that things dear to my heart and important in my life must always come first and foremost. I pray to Allah everything will work out fine.
 
At this present moment I am feeling much better. I just need to get my head around getting my work done now. I am really frustrated with work and I really want to get it done and over with as soon as possible. 

Rest all day

We didn't do much today..well at last I didn't. Shah went to school to get his work done while I stayed at home on the pretence of doing work. Actually, I was just surfing the net and playing around with Microsoft Visio that I installed to help me with my thesis diagrams. When Shah got home he finally got the back lawn mowed and he trimmed the plant in front of the house. So as a reward, I promised to cook the roast chicken by myself. He didn't have to help.
 
That was dinner sorted: roast chicken, mashed potato and salad.  Now we're just lounging around on the sofa while watching 'The Naked Chef'. Usually when there's nothing to watch on the tele we'll just switch onto the ukTV Food channel and watch all the cookery shows. It's very interesting to watch all the different cuisines being prepared and that's where I usually get recipes to try and cook during the weekend. Both, Shah and I, like to try new recipes and since were far away we always try to cook authentic Malaysian dishes. Malaysian dishes are the best and nothing can ever beat them. I think that is the main thing that I miss most about Malaysia. In Malaysia you can always find a restaurant or hawker centre at any time of the day.
 
I have to stop now coz Shah is bugging me. He wants a turn at surfing the net. So tata!! 

I'm FAT!!!!!!

This afternoon Shah and I went out to send my job application at Lakeland. There we were on our way, when we met the wife of one of the postgrads who knew Shah and I (this is very rare since we're so anti-social and  don't mix much with the other Malay postgrads). The first thing that came out of her mouth was 'Dah gemuk sekarang?'. I tried my very best to act cool and carried on the usual 'HI..How's thing's going on' conversation with her for a few minutes before saying goodbye. Arghh!!!! I'm fat!!! This was not the first time I heard someone say this to me. At least the first person who commented about me putting on weight softend the blow by saying that I look better because of it. But this time the comment really hit me in the face and made me very concious about my weight. Don't people know that saying things like that just makes the person on the receiving end feel awkward?? But it is one hell of a wake up call.
 
I guess it is true. I have been eating loads and haven't exercised for ages. But I was once a woman who didn't have to worry about these things. Before, the amount that I ate didn't seem to cause any effect on my body but now things have changed. Now everything coming in seems to create an extra inch on the waist or thigh or even on my face. What has happened to me? I think I'll have to inclide ome form of exercise into my daily routine and eat less fattening food. 
 
Actually, we do have an elliptical rider exercise machine at home which we bought 5 months ago. When it first arrived both of us were very excited and used it at least every other day. But 1 month after that it just stood there in the corner of our living room collecting dust. So now is the time to get on it again. Got to start exercising..got to lose weight. I keep saying taying that but his time I really mean it. I don't want to receive such a comment again!!!

Pregnancy and having kids...

Just got the news that Shah's sis-in-law is pregnant. So the pressure is on me now (not that there really is any). It's not that I don't want to...it's that there's lots of things to consider if we do have a baby now. Childcare is the main problem coz I'll have to send the baby to a nursery or bring a maid over from Msia to help. If I were in Msia now then I guess it would be totally different. I might have kids already!! I keep thinking that it's not right to think too much about the consequences of having children coz if it was meant to be then surely everything will turn out fine. Que sera sera. But you just can't help yourself..there will always be a 'what if' situation. I guess this is when you really need to have faith and pray that everything will work out for the best.

Many of my married frens are either pregnant or have already had kids and I want them too! I hope it will be soon but it's all in Allah's 'hands'. My ex-housemate (when I was studying in London) is waiting to go to labour. I think I have friends due to give birth every month from now till October and I'm quite envious. I guess it's my maternity instincts giving me signals coz I get think small kids and children's clothes are just so cute and irresistable.

I just hope I will be able to bring up my kids in a loving and caring environment. And also protect them and provide for them the best we can in this carzy and dangerous world. But I think you can never ever spoil your children or give them face coz they if not they will just walk all over you. Hopefully, insyaAllah, if we instill love, respect and religion then they will turn out fine...

I am what I am

I am what I am...
And what I am needs no excuses...
It's my life and I wanna have a little pride in...
My world and it's not a place I have to hide in...
Life's not worth a damn...
Till you can say...
I am what I am...

Busy week coming up

I won't be writing much today coz I've got to get some things done for tomorrow's meeting. Actually, I don't feel like going but I have too..*sigh*. I also just found out earlier this afternoon that I'll have to attend a meeting with my sponsors this Thursday. That means I've got to prepare some results and slides to present to them. Further more, I've only got 2 days to do it..which is truthfully plenty of time but I'm just in no mood to do it. Well, no use complaining coz nothing will change..it will still happen unless they suddenly cancel the meeting.

So I've got to get to work..

New look for me

It took me two days to implement the new skin I downloaded from blogkins.com and I 'm very happy with the results. The picture of the lily is very beautiful...I really like it and I hope u guys reading this like it too.

Yesterday was a normal Saturday for Shah and I. We went out to find Shah a new mobile and I wanted to hand in my job application form at NEXT. Shah got himself a new NEC camera phone on ThreePay. It's a really nice phone and I hope Shah is happy with it. When I handed in my application form at NEXT, the lady there said that the manager will get in contact with me if I application is accepted so just have to wait and see what happens. I really hope I can get a job somewhere soon. I'm also thinking of applying for a part time job at Lakeland...I saw the advert when I passed their shop. It's for a weekend position so I need to fill the form in ASAP and hand it in by the coming Friday. I really hope one of us can get a job coz we want to minimise the use of our savings. Getting a job in retail is quite tough especailly if you don't have any experience. I did work once before when I was studying in London but I don't know how that is going to do me any good coz it was just a temporary job lasting only for one month. At that time I worked at House of Fraser as a sales assistant and I have to say it wasn't an easy job. I had to stand for almost 4 hours and if a customer couldn't find a top or skirt I had to go all the way down to the basement (from the 2nd floor) to see if there was any in her size in the stock room. Mind you the lifts were very slow and sometimes I had to run up the stairs. But it was a mind opening and treasured experience.

Back to today, I didn't do much. Went to school for an hour to run a simulation. Then came back home to watch a Malay movie on VCD entitled 'Gila Gila Pengantin Remaja'. It was actually quite funny and of good quality compared to the others that I've watched. I guess it was because of the choice of actors and director. Afdlin Shauki was hilarious in the movie. Dinner tonite was Nasi Briyani (instant) and ayam masak merah. I think I need to get some work done after this..maybe do some while watching 'Angel Eyes' on Channel 4. So I'll write again soon...

p/s: Shah and I decided to go on with this AOL internet service even though it's just a normal dial up connection but it's enough for us. At least its better than the NTL dial up service coz you never ever get cut off while ur online.

No more internet!!

Tomorrow we'll be cancelling the AOL internet service!! It's coming close to the end of the one month free service and after this we'll have to start paying. It's hard to live without it now coz we're so used to it. Once upon a time ago, when we didn't have any internet connection, we were quite happy staying at home watching tv and doing other things but not now. I guess we'll just have to go on without it..besides we're constantly on the net at work anyway. But then how am I going to write here?? I'm too busy to blog at work. And I've just found a skin that I like!! Ohhh..the dilemma!!

I've been sick!

Came home for lunch yesterday and didn't even go back to the office. It started off with lots of sneezing and a runny nose. Then on the way home for lunch my eyes started to water and I was sure I was going to be sick. And to add to that it was very windy and cold yesterday afternoon and my body temperature kept rising. Luckily it was just for a day. Today was so much better even tough I had to battle the rain to get to work. My cold is gone but I think I've still got a slight fever..though Shah would say I'm just imagining it. Actually, I rarely get sick and if I do I usually get well quite fast (so far..hope it stays like that).

At work today, while running some simulations, I browsed thru some blogskins at blogskins.com I'm toying witht he idea of changing how my blog looks but I'm not too sure if I'll change it. Still looking out for something cool that suits me and what I write about. Well..it all depends on how much free time I have to surf around in search of THE blogskin for me. I might just have a look after I write this...

Cute little kiddies

I managed to pick myself up last night by watching a sweet romantic comedy movie on TV. It was about a couple trying hard to get a baby but having to come to terms with infertility. That got me thinking about the possibility and the truth is if it was meant to be then we'll just have to accept it. But I pray to Allah (now and always) that one day we will get to hear pitty patter of tiny feet in our house. Maybe have 2 little Anisa's and 2 little Shah's, InsyaAllah. I can't wait to have kids of my own coz they're so cute!! Especially if they're chubby and I can't wait to dress them up in all the cute little dresses and clothes sold in the shops. Geramnye tengok!!!

Been busy writing the journal paper today. At the moment I've written 11 pages, mostly on the theory of my work. Tomorrow I've got to get started on reporting the results. I'm really hoping I can get it done by tomorrow. I'm also trying to apply for a part time job. Just so that we can make ends meet when our scholarship ends. I've been filling out an application form from NEXT so I've got to get it finished soon and send it back to them A.S.A.P. I'm hoping to get a job but I wonder if I can juggle my studies, the job and housework. Come to think of it other postgrads have been doing it throughout their studies so I surely can. Well, I have to at least try. Hopefully it'll work out...just have to wait and see. For the moment..get the job first!!

I've been sneezing all night and my nose is blocked. Feels like a cold or fever might be coming up...but I hope not!! I think I'll go and get some shut eye soon. Night night...

No mood for work...

I'm having this feeling that's rather difficult to explain. I think it's because I'm worried about work but I'm not in the mood to do anywork!! It's very frustrating. Once in a blue moon I feel this way and the only way to get over it is to force myself to get some work done. BUT I can't be bothered to do anything. It's just so stupid.

Well, I don't wanna write anything else coz I ain't in the mood. I'll just bore whomever is reading this. I'll try and pick myself up tonite and try and be more cheerful tomorrow. Hopefully!

Sports on TV...

I had a morning lie in today coz we got back from dinner at Aryss and Izaty's place at 1:30am. It was nice to meet up with everyone last night. Had lots of laughs and even watched a movie there. We watched 'The Texas Chain Saw Massacre' which was quite scary at times. That's why we got back so late at night. By the time I got to bed it was almost 3am.

There's quite a few things to watch today. We were watching the Wimbeldon mens singles finals between Roger Federer and Andy Roddick but it's now suspended due to rain. I don't have any favourites between the two..just watch it coz its the finals. Then later on is the final of EURO 2004 match- Portugal vs Greece. Some of our friends are coming over. I won't be cooking anything special coz we'll be ordering in. Anyhow, I'll prepare dessert...there's going to be bread and butter pudding.

I guess I'll stop here for now...I want to play Need For Speed Underground with Shah. We'll race each other. I want to beat him so wish me luck!

Weddings..

Woke up quite late today coz we got home at around 12:30am last night from Didi's place. Last night's dinner party was nice coz there was mee jawa and fried kuey teow...dah lama tak makan tu semua. There was lots of cakes and tiramisu but most importantly I got to meet quite a few people I haven't seen in quite awhile like Ija and Didi. Got to see Didi's engagement pics too. Didi looked beautiful in her engagement day..wish I was there. So there will be 2 confirmed weddings next year insyaAllah...Didi's and Aryss's. Hopefully Shah and I will be able to make it to their weddings. I love weddings!! I wish I could re-live my wedding day but not the preparations leading up to it though. That's just too much hassle and time consuming. I've actually got a friend who's a wedding planner and I think it's such a cool job to have. Talking about weddings reminds me of the studio photo shoot Shah and I did after our wedding ceremony back home in PJ. I am always wondering how the pictures turned out. Did we look OK? Did the costumes we chose suitable for us? Whether Mama had them blown up and mounted on the wall? Anyway..I'll only get the answers to those when I go back home and see them for myself.

I'm so hungry coz we didn't each much for lunch today. Just had tuna melt panini at the cafe in the Uni. We were actually hoping to eat the roast chicken from Chicken Joes but the dining hall was closed until 6/7/04. So just have to wait until they reopen then.
Yey!! The spaghetti bolognese is cooked..can go eat now...till next time!!

Wednesday's blog

I know..I know...I've been neglecting u this week..but don't get upset coz I'm always thinking of what to write just couldn't find the time to write them all down. Yesterday I got a call from Aniza that there was going to be pot luck dinner tonite to celebrate the graduation of Shasha and Nadia. So I had to prepare something to bring tonite. That's why I didn't write a blog for yesterday. Shah and I went out to TESCO's yesterday afternoon to get some stuff for me to make the cheescake I was going to bring tonite. But Shah also got a PS2 game (Soul Calibur II) and he finally got his Spiderman Water Squirter coz we also bought 2 boxes of Kellogg's Frosties. When he opened the first box he got a Doc Ock Water Canon...it's not really the water squirter he wanted but he might just get it in the 2nd box. But he has to wait until we finish the current box of Frosties before opening the 2nd one!..

I think this will also be today's blog coz I don't think I'll have time to write more when I get back from the dinner party tonite. Nothing much happened today...just the usual day at work. Every week comes and goes just like a flash. Tomorrow is Friday again..I'm happy that the weekend is near but because time flies by so fast these days it seem as though I don't have enough time to get anything much done. Arghh!! I just wish I could be a bum and just laze around all day and nite. I surely know that once Shah is able to earn enough to support us and pur future kids then I might just stop work and become a full time house wife. Then I don't have to worry about deadlines and stuff.

BUT that won't happen in the near future...so got to get back to work!